Queer Eye for the Transy Guy

“Oh my god, shoes.” Yes, this is a YouTube video. It’s also a common statement many of my more shoe-inclined (read: female) friends and I exclaim on campus. Let me come to your aid for all our sakes.

Shoes are more than mere accessories. The type of shoe you wear should fit the occasion, match your outfit and show off a bit of your personal style. Of course, the type of shoe should also be comfortable and weather-appropriate but sometimes one must suffer for fashion.

I know most may own only a few pairs but having choices is definitely a good thing. It doesn’t count toward your advantage if you own several pairs of shoes but two are athletic shoes and one is a pair of sandals. Really, there are other places besides the gym and the beach. Yes, they can be used to fit many occasions, but that’s not the shoe that has the best fit. (Did you see what I did there?)

For starters, ditch sandals as your main mode of foot protection. Not only do these lack weather protection, but they allow the ladies (and gents) to see your foot hygiene and pedicure status, which is often left unkempt. (See future article for more on this topic.) These are appropriate as sometimes-shoes, much like cookies are a sometimes-food.

Gym shoes should stay in the gym. No exceptions. If you are running outside of the gym or participating in an outside sport this is also acceptable. But after use, be sure to put them in a place that allows appropriate ventilation. That place is not on your foot in normal social settings.

Do yourself a favor and purchase a pair of sneakers of some type or a casual type of shoe. Vans, Toms and Aldo shoes are all good choices for a more stylish slant. Converse or other types are also acceptable. Ultimately you know what fits your style, but make sure your style allows for good-looking shoes. These don’t have to be expensive but can be. Be sure to get a pair that will last, though, as constantly spending money on shoes is typically reserved for the female population.

Also in your closet (or out of your closet for some of you) should be a pair of dressier shoes. Occasions arise, like dates for instance, which require a more formal pair of shoes. At least I hope those situations arise for you in the future. Both a black and brown pair would be optimal, but a good style in either one will suffice for most situations. Make sure that your belt matches your shoes, however. Until you’ve advanced to a more fashionable state this rule should be followed at all times.

And for the love of all that is fashionable, do not under any circumstance buy Crocs. The only exception is if you are a nurse, as I hear they are quite comfortable, but the look will ward away all females (or males). If you fit into this minute category then make sure they stay within the hospital or place of work, put in a box in the back corner of a locker after being taken off.

So, guys, give me a reason to stop quoting “Shoes” and start stating, “How cute are those (insert shoe type).”

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