Kydd U. Naught: Advice That Doesn’t Suck

Q: A friend of mine writes an article for Morehead State University and students were complaining about her viewpoints. Is satire a legitimate form of news or art? I mean I know England got all up in arms for Swift proposing to eat babies.

A: Dear Satire Skeptic,

Satire is definitely not a legitimate form of news, and especially not art. Nothing is ever going to get accomplished in our society if we allow anything except the utmost seriousness and pretentiousness. Besides, you could make someone (or an entire group of people) mad, and that’s definitely not the best way to get people to talk about important issues, or write a letter to the editor to their local newspaper and start a discussion on issues of perception. Even if satire were the best way to spark discussion, such discussion is unnecessary anyways in our flawless society where everyone agrees about everything anyways.

On top of this, humor and satire don’t even reach the masses because no one likes it, or thinks it a legitimate form of art or news. Just ask John Stewart and Stephen Colbert how much they’ve had to struggle raising their viewership. Or you can ask me about how I handle the fact that no one reads this column ever, especially not you – right now.

Q: So, I’ve seen some questionable uses of leggings. Is it OK to wear them with really short outer garments?

A: Dear Blinded,

I don’t know what you mean by questionable uses of leggings. According to Glamour magazine, wearing leggings only for warmth under outer garments of appropriate length or wearing them only to the gym is “so last year.” Wearing leggings by themselves in place of legitimate pants is now completely acceptable. Some girl in Glamour said, “Yeah, I really love to show off every little extra bump of pudge I have. It makes me feel good to know that everyone walking behind me can see everything I’ve got – absolutely everything. Moreover, they let everyone see my fashion-forward, $165 house shoes more clearly. They make my love handles look fantastic, and after all, panty lines bring all the boys to the yard.” I couldn’t have really said it better myself this time, so as you can see, you really have no reason not to wear leggings by themselves. As an exchange, though, it is now recommended that you wear jeans and heels to the gym.


One Response to Kydd U. Naught: Advice That Doesn’t Suck

  1. Kris Olson says:

    You spelled Jon Stewart’s name with an “h.”

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