Queer Eye for the Transy Guy

Ball shorts. Please tell me Transy guys: Are you playing a pick-up game every hour or so? I see this as the only valid reason to wear these rather unfashionable leg garments all the time.

I must admit, I also wear these shorts, allowing for more movement of the legs in exercise and sport. However, wearing these to class, to work and even on dates becomes a little too much. There are other options, so use them.

I know your dressers may be full of these awful articles of clothing, but I doubt a parent would let a guy go to college without at least one pair of blue jeans. So let’s start there. Any well-equipped closet should come with no less than two pairs of these. It may take a few minutes in a dressing room (Yes, boys can go there too.) to figure out what your waist-by-length measurement is.

Once equipped with this data shopping becomes a whole lot easier. I urge, however, that you try on any pair you buy until you become more comfortable with the process, as some stores vary in make and model. Imagine a Ford F-150 versus a Chevy Silverado, both of them trucks but way different in many regards. (And yes, I can speak “car.”)

Stores such as American Eagle, Express Men, Hollister, Fossil and Buckle all are well-equipped to satisfy your blue jean wishes and denim dreams. There are plenty of fits of pants; if you wish to retain some part of the nylon short lifestyle, I suggest checking out the baggier types.

However, I know for a fact most females enjoy the, shall we say, contour of some men when it comes to the backside, so keep that in mind when shopping. To solidify this I quote the great GaGa: “See that boy, watch him go. Blue jeans with an a– like whoa.” Enough said. Skinny jeans, boot-cut and others are also available, ready to complement your personal style.

Moving from here, there are other fabrics in the long pants department. Khaki is a great step and is more suitable for formal occasion, such as those dates which you should be getting by now. I prefer to shop at J-Crew and Banana Republic for my khaki needs but pants that work just as well can be found elsewhere. Again keep in mind the fit of the pants as well as what else you will wear with the outfit (hopefully remembering shoes; see last week’s column).

At this point you can move back to the shorts department, having had experience in more formal wear. For the warmer temperatures that we are approaching khaki shorts are available as well as shorts of other materials (besides nylon). You can find them in colors, patters and even varying lengths, and the previous retailers are a great place to start your search. These are more than acceptable and can also fit many different occasions and styles. However, I highly advise against denim shorts, especially short ones, unless you think you call pull off the Shania Twain look.

So please, take off those nylon shorts. If you get yourself into some better fitting pants I’m sure you’ll be out of them again in no time.


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